Now back when I was a child I was extremely clumsy, and I'm not saying I'm not clumsy anymore because I very much am... but the point is when I was younger I was the clumsiest of clumsy. Back in fourth grade when I lived in California I played rec soccer. We were called the "Angry Birds" and had hella fresh red uniforms. At practice one day I was grabbing my soccer ball from the goal and when I turned around I began waving to one of my friends just arriving at practice. As I was waving a girl on my team nailed a ball into my hand and broke my wrist. Like holy s**t that hurt like a b**ch. The next day, my mother took me to the doctor where I got a neon pink cast wrapped from my thumb to my forearm. And back then having a cast was like the coolest thing ever - I had people signing it and I felt so cool it was amazing. So this is the background story to The Time I Peed on a Fence.
My cast image courtesy of my mother, Kara Lane
One evening my family had invited two or three families from our neighborhood to come over, eat dinner, and spend the evening together. These families were the people I had grown up with, basically my brothers and sisters. That evening while the parents were making dinner in the kitchen all the kids were outside kicking a soccer ball around... and I kicked it over the fence into this giant hill of leaves and trees full of snails and ewey things like that... and the rule we had is if you kick it you get it. So there I was crippled in a cast attempting to climb over the fence. And let me add the fence we had looked like a bunch of posts with these funky squares on the top. I get to the top of the fence and I am literally straddling the fence and my casts gets jammed in one of the squares.
I'm dying laughing and yelling for help and Lola P one of the moms comes out and we are both laughing so insanely hard and all of a sudden I realized I have to pee. So there I am - stuck on a fence, laughing and trying not to pee. I yelled "I HAVE TO PEE" and then all of sudden I start peeing. By then everyone was outside laughing and I'm just sitting there peeing, I couldn't stop. Lola was laughing I was laughing it was so funny. At the end of the night all the kids and I wrapped the two fence posts with caution tape and those two posts were never touched again.
The reason I told this childhood story for my blog was because it is one of the best memories I have as a child. It reminds me of how happy I was and how happy my family and friends were. It also makes me thankful for all the people in my life and how close I am to them and all my friends from California and how I had the best childhood ever.